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Redding, CA. I want somebody to talk to. I've been learning that most more. Yreka, CA. Going out and hanging. It was bloody real as far as I was concerned.

I thought I had been poisoned probably because of the puking. At one point I actually wanted death. Something in me knew I could face this.

And this is kind of interesting:. A chance to release built-up emotions. I prepared a tea of the same dose as the last good trip 65g, with mg Rue extract , but I had huge difficulty drinking it this time, more so than ever before.

I then sat down, put on the best playlist of all time, and waited. Nothing happened. No trip ever happened. Instead I felt pissed off. Pissed off beyond belief.

At myself. The rest of the evening was basically an emotional release, but not in the direction I was intending. It was a release of anger, in its truest form.

I now know why this happened. It gave me a very strong reminder of what was still left to fix, then brought it right back up, in a less intense way than before.

I may have to go to an Ayahuasca ceremony after all.. What trip? Only 10g like the very first one. For me, nothing ever happened except a slight heavy feeling.

No laughter, no emotional event, no visuals, nothing any different from boring old reality. He had a few interesting visuals, but only for 15 mins or so.

Not much else happened. However, we worked out that I will in fact be a very good guide in the future. However, I do think that those truffles might have been crap.

Oh well. The Fourth Option.. Well it looks like everything has come full-circle. There was no stress and everything went well!

We went to a restaurant after and I ordered everything myself, I even went up to the counter to get a 2nd portion.

My friend was actually finding it more stressful than me in that environment. Let me tell you that it really does not taste nice. It was like brown paint, mixed with sand and sediment.

It took me about an hour to work up enough energy to drink that little cup. My hand was shaking. So a 3rd option indeed.

In retrospect this is so obvious, looking back at previous relationship criteria.. I also overcame a very big thing that I usually wait forever to happen but never does.

This time I myself went and did the doing, and did it very well. A day after the trip, we were sitting on a bench near Amsterdam Centraal, and I fancied a diet coke.

The only stress was that I might drop the two drinks, more than any external factors like the busyness or the hundreds of people etc.

But not any more. It was very very amusing for all involved. I wanted to see what it would do for me, as it seems to be very popular in Amsterdam, and so I just kept going and going, and at one point I took the mouthpiece off the pipe as it was blocking the flow rate..

According to friends present, I was very stoned. However I felt much more like myself during that state than I do when sober. I stood up and walked across the room, but then suddenly felt very shitty.

I reached a state very similar to mushrooms where reality was there only as a reminder. I could consciously choose to lose contact with my body and literally steer my thought process into any direction, and indeed stop it entirely.

After a few minutes, I worked out what was causing it. I then saw them to bed and made sure everything was okay.

As I was walking out of the room, me and my assistant got chatting about life. And this will be a big one. The next challenge is to begin my new life, and move out of this place.

Probably leave England and move to Amsterdam or the Netherlands permanently. EDIT: 3 day weekend. I recently went away with a friend for the weekend to spend a few days swimming at different pools and getting away from home for a while.

My friend was finding it somewhat difficult for a lot of the time, and I helped them out as best I could.

I know that I can be good support for people, but it takes its toll and depletes my energy after a few days. Like so many things, life is about balance.

People need time to reset, relax, and just be. I also confirmed that the environment one is in makes all the difference.

Make it a good one! EDIT: Music concert! Me and two friends went to a live music performance in London! It was very loud, hot, dark, crowded, and nearly everyone was drinking.

However, we met the band and I managed to get a signed album cover, a shirt, and cheesy selfie! We left very late at about in the morning, chatted in the car for a while, went to Mc Donalds the only place open at AM , then went home.

When we arrived back, I had a huge wave of negative shittyness and bad feelings out of nowhere. I now know that this was because this flat is so lonely and boring that any positive energy generated by say a good event gets cancelled out and dropped to below baseline when I go back home.

We then had a very deep chat and stayed up far too late into the early hours of the morning. It did, although it was my friend who had the most benefit.

They had an emotional release not unlike when I took mushrooms, and said that the music was what did it, just like it did for me.

I helped them discuss their whole life and worked out their problems non-stop all throughout the early morning, the next day, and the late evening.

We were up for over 40 hours without sleep. Mainly lack of confidence, overloaded, not sure what to do next, and depression.

So yet again we leave for Amsterdam in a few weeks. This time to fix their mind and a few more aspects of mine too. We ended up chatting almost non-stop about life, smoking loads of weed, recording 1.

We first went to the Dampkring Coffeeshop and bought a few different strains of weed. They even had a cat! We decided to smoke each one and come up with our own names based on the feeling.

This is what I came up with over a few days. Rather fitting! After a few days of chat, tripping, and relaxing, It turns out that their mind works in much the same way as my own.

I bought rather too many bongs I just love bongs! I also recorded Episode of WeedChat , the Xmas special editing in progress.. I also went shopping alone in Amsterdam.

That sums up just how much has changed. I literally walked out of our flat, down the street following google maps, went to Albert Heijn, asked someone in the store where to find butter, then walked home!

EDIT: Trip I wanted to find out what mushrooms and weed combined was like. I started with a hit from the bong, then took 2.

At about mins I started to feel kind of strange. I had a lot of the same feelings but kept full control over it despite the emotions.

The 2. I was lost for words many times and found it much easier to talk with my eyes closed for some reason. The trip went well, but was very tiring.

I think it was the weed. If you have any questions you can contact me via Twitter public or private message realXeroxAlto.

Or direct message me on Telegram: TheRealAlyx. Skip to content. Introduction Posted on 6th January by Admin. Posted in Uncategorized Comments Off on Introduction.

Will be at Breaking Convention in August, chat with me! Posted on 17th May by Admin. Part 3: 5g. Posted on 18th December by Admin.

Part 3 5g. The intentions for this trip were to: Heal myself before others Find places my energy is being wasted Make peace with the ego I also know for sure that harmalas are required for me.

New website Posted on 20th October by Admin. However new content will be posted here. Posted in Uncategorized Comments Off on New website.

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